blue

blue is great
color- looks good
on the sky
less so on
the human heart...

i'm rising

i'm rising Lord

Like the sun that

Finds a seat always

In the heart of

The sky

So are your mercies

The sky never turns

Away its frequent

Visitor

Likewise you never leave

So are your mercies

Like the sky,

So the heart

Like the sun

So my heart

One in the other

Will find a home

For always, the other

In the one, Amen.

what's new about the new year?

the air smells like it did yesterday morning- chill, dusty, dry.

there's the same quiet, the same calm where i am, ensconced at work.

i look just the same, though i have aged one more day, together with all of earth's billions of tenants ecstatic about the 'new' year. don't get me wrong, i have nothing against a new year or the excitement that attends it's birth. i simply am a bit reluctant to join in a (truly) precipitate enthusiasm hinged on the 'magic' inherent in the new year. there is as much magic for new choices, new beginnings- there is this magic in everyday. a counter argument would run that there is nothing wrong then in choosing (good one) to utilize that potential for change more at an arbitrarily defined point seeing that this does not in any way hinder or clash with the alternative choice of refusing to venerate one day above another. well said, but what's new about the new year?

each human must make today choices that can add up to a future he/ she can live with. you must choose today a tomorrow you can eagerly anticipate. and this is a daily choice- to leave off destructive influences, to embrace constructive ones; to celebrate the forces and persons that build you up while you clamp down the forces that pull you apart. what of life's imperfections, the flaws that are a composite part of our different situations? even these must be coerced by choice into conforming with what mental picture we have of ourselves and our lives or by choice we would let some things alone, choosing to refuse to alter them. in that sense, a new year begins daily.

loving in lines

I have been in love once, that I can't forget. 

I have loved because I thought Love was duty, and mercy and pity.

I have loved to receive love, with desperation thinking perhaps love could heal me...

I wonder still, which love, if Love will heal me...

A pure passion

15 December 2010

21:34

I promise this day to love You one more day. Every day I breathe I will re-affirm, and remind You of this.

You have walked me through mourning to Your comfort, and the loss of all things to find You.

The dry valley has become a River, and a well of life what were my tears

I promise this day to serve You. To publickly affirm your private rebirth of me. And I remind You.

You promise to love me for one eternity, where I also may perfect my love for You. You remind me

You will call me by my secret name known to You alone and everything in me will respond, to You

Would I be hidden like a seed for a time in the earth, to burst out on the shores of eternity?

Or would I be translated in a blink from time to be- come, on the dawn of my eternity? I may not know

But You remind me....

I won't forget.

the year's resolutions

There are many peaks in a woman's life. Many vantage viewing points where you may look forward or backwards for a period and see your life all at once- like one would view an insect squirming in one's palm. Between the peaks, one plods on, seeing less but paradoxically doing more by blind faith, doing more by default (even the act of doing nothing is doing something by strict definition).

The times of deep thought, of pure vision come few and far between or else stretch into a period of clarity. They just could be preceded by a complete failure of vision and may simply represent a compensatory state, or a harvest of lessons- lessons learnt in the depth of the heart's darkness.

There is a lot of room at the top, true- room for recrimination if you will; room for correction; room for despair; room for hope. The child of regret is a fool. 

introduction

09 December 2010

08:29

Good-morning Sir and Ma, may I call you Dad(ddy?) and Mum(my?). My name is Omawumi and I am aspiring to be your son's wife. I would technically not call myself his girl- friend because strictly speaking I left girlhood quite a few years ago, and the phrase woman friend just has certain unwholesome connotations. We still have a few issues to iron out before I can safely commit myself to the title of fiancé however. Quite  unlike with your generation the issues that crop up in relationships today are far more diverse, and with farther reaching consequences. For instance, a kiss was as much a part of lovemaking when Denise Robins wrote her romance novels. A man and a woman spending time together and seeing each other regularly by preset appointment would have been accepted to be dating. Nowadays, neither of these things add up to a relationship until we decide to say they do! I hope you begin to understand my dilemma with my role in your lives and the purpose of this visit.

I am a God fearing young woman, who loves  children as my name suggests. I will be a worthy addition to your family. I am free from communicable  diseases and my genotype is compatible with your son's. My parents are respectably retired civil servants who now teach Sunday school. I am polite and courteous like you should have observed from the start of our meeting. I must add that I have excellent sense of style and I quite object to having to wear this Lace today. It doesn't fit anything in my wardrobe and it promises to prove completely useless after this occasion. It doesn't help either that there's yet another to-do next week I must be 'properly' attired for. I  object even more strongly to this tour of relatives I am embarked on. I understand that your son is trying to marry me. Why then am I the objet d'art, set on display for your whole family to peruse, and comment...and tear apart?

I love your son and cannot imagine a life without him. I want to give him this, my one lifetime. I had naively expected love to be everything, and more than enough. I hereby appeal gently to be allowed to do that in peace, in my own way, with or without your support.

Respectfully,

Your daughter- in- law- to- be

Omawumi